An Argument


for the

Commodore 64

Published by Computer Novels, 1986.

Read the Walkstory!


  Game Title: Literature!
  Musick: Ambient.
  Gameplay: Boring.
  Graphics:   Perfect for this                       concept.
  Concept: Horrible.
  Fun Time: Not Much.


The Three Musketeers was published by a Software company called Computer Novels in 1986. I couldn't find any of the Documentation which may or may not have come with the game and can only hope that it came with something because as it stands, the story is nearly incomprehensible. Perhaps you really, really, really need to be familiar with the book. But I was hoping that a game from a company called Computer Novels would actually feel somewhat like a novel. Or at least tell a comprehensible story.

The game is in the Choose Your Own Adventure Style which means it really didn't need any sort of a walkthrough but I made one anyway. Especially with today's emulators, you can just quick save before every decision and then play out each possibility very quickly. Some of the decisions are timed although it hardly affects gameplay at all. Many of the choices end in either success or death, so you don't have to worry about a wrong choice haunting you later on in the game. One particular ending came about because I told a Carriage Drive he would get extra money if he got me to my destination quickly. We hadn't even left yet but he realized I had no money and killed me. Yes, he killed me because I didn't have money to pay for a ride we hadn't even taken yet. What a jerk!

Perhaps whoever decided on this project thought that a game with the Three Musketeers would be packed full of action and excitement, even if it was just words. But that person was wrong! This game is so dull! You spend the first chapter getting the Three Musketeers to join you on a mission to deliver a letter. You never know why you need to deliver this letter. You never know why the Cardinal is SO MEAN! But you do it anyway and you make it sound exciting so your buddies will come with you and off you go.

The next chapter consists of a few decisions where you leave behind all of the Three Musketeers to never be seen again (until the super secret ending!). And to pad out your travels to England, you encounter the dumbest maze in text adventure history. It's just an 8 x 8 grid with no tricks at all. You just map it out and that's that. And why a Computer Novel needed a maze is a question I'm not capable of answering.

So now, by Chapter Three, you've reached England and lost all the Musketeers. Now you just travel in a bunch of different directions until the Duke tells you what to do in Chapter Four.

And then Chapter Four comes along and all it is is traveling south and guessing which person you meet gets which item! Sure, there are clues to the way the Duke described them and the way they answer the door. But with the Quick Save, I wasn't paying attention at all.

And, Spoiler Alert, you finally save the Queen somehow from some MEAN (no, not evil, MEAN) plan by the Cardinal. The game also describes an ambush where you're fired upon by guns as MEAN.

The game is riddled with spelling and grammar errors. The most fun part of the game was every time I ran into some horribly mangled word or a catastrophic turn of phrase. What a special way to honor a beloved author!

Speaking of honoring the author, the last screen of the game says, "This game is dedicated to Alexandre Dumas (1803-1870). May the memory of him live on through this program." Really? It's through this shitty little program that makes no sense and isn't any fun that you hope his memory will be kept alive! Yeah, forget the actual books. Too long! And they're probably filled with lots of intrigue and action and excitement! Just like this game isn't!


Copyright 2006 NA!P