A Heroick Story
The first Chapter of the Inaugural Places & Predators Playtesting Session has been transcribed! Witness the best Roller Playing
Game ever in action!

Grunion Guy's Help Desk!
I've been playing Computer Adventure Games and writing walkthroughs for people who are
too stupid to win the games themselves. Sometimes I'm too
stupid too!

Trollslayer, A Text Adventure
Written and programmed by me!
It's a little taste into what it is like playing The Dwarf Fantasyer Character from the Places & Predators Roller Playing Game.


Old stuff

Dwarf Lover

Pseudo Learning

Crazy Asian Drinks

The Moron Corps


January 31st, 2009

My stupid Spectrum Emulator I'm using to play those really bad graphickal adventure games doesn't know how to play Mindshadow, Part Two. So I looked around the cyberspace to see if anybody knew how to make the stupid emulator do what it's supposed to do. I couldn't find anything. So, I posted a question to Yahoo Groups, Nerdy Nerds Who Like Spectrum Whatever That Was And Are Living In The Past When They Were Hot Shot Programmers of BASICK And Now Have Giant Jerky Attitudes.

I posted: I have so and so Spectrum Emulator but it is stupid because it doesn't know how to play Mindshadow Part Two since it needs to read a Save Tape of the end of Part One but the emulator doesn't make one. What do I do?

Yahoo Jerkwad JimSpectrumLover at Yahoo responded, "SNORT OF DERISION. *Pushing eyeglasses up on nose and pulling pants up since they'd fallen below his belly button* You, good sir, are the stupid one. The emulator will play any old ROM (Do you know what that is? Methinks you don't!) if only THE USER isn't too dumb to run it correctly. Please forgive programmers for expecting users of their programs to at least have some modicum of intelligence. Perhaps the Spectrum computer is too far above your capabilities? Perhaps an Atari 5200 would be more suited to your below average intellect? I have played Mindshadow Part Two on the emulator you are speaking of, so, believe me, the problem is all inside your feeble mind."

Before I could post and tell him he was a total jerk and if he knew the answer to my question, why wouldn't he just answer it instead of being a jerk. Also, I added the first two lines of the previous response. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was the funny one making fun of him and he was the jerk being a jerk. Oh, but anyway, I was going to answer but this next guy posted immediately afterward!

Yahoo Atari Loving Hero at Yahoo respond responded, "HA HA! I cannot answer your question, Mr. Guy, but allow me to answer this ***hole for you. Mr. Lover, would you please try to refrain from being a complete and total **** while answering people's questions on these forums. Why must you put someone down who is discovering the excitement and enjoyment of a hobby which you have loved for many years? You should be encouraging him and helping him along. Is it that you feel you've wasted many years with a machine left behind by time nearly 25 years ago? I understand you lack something in your real life and must bully people on the internet to find any semblance of power and intellectual superiority. Perhaps you just couldn't keep up with time and your skills in BASIC and FORTRAN have failed you in the modern era? Whatever the case, the internet would be a far better place without the likes of you and your kind belittling and talking down to people just starting out in your most cherished hobbies and interests. I would also like to add that I believe you meant the Atari 800 since it is more comparable to the Spectrum (although, perhaps, much less comparable than the Commodore series of computers) and, in my mind, is a computer that Mr. Guy might find some interest in emulating. Perhaps you did mean the Atari 5200 and, if so, than the comment was quite uncalled for and extremely rude. Much like the rest of your statement, so, I guess, probably exactly what you meant. Mr. Guy, I would like to invite you to try emulating some other systems like the Commodore 64 or the Atari 800, since I could help answer any questions you have in those areas. I look forward to corresponding with you in the future."

Well, thanks! I didn't post again because the next response was from Jerkwad Jim again and it just said, "**** You, Atari Hugger."

But I think I'll take Atari Loving Hero's advice and try something other than Spectrum! Who wants to enjoy emulating software that big losers emulate? That wasn't meant to be dirty.

January 22nd, 2009

To the religious, critickal thinking is just finding a way to be offended.

More January 22nd, 2009

I don't normally read but I'm reading Huck Finn right now and I agree that it shouldn't be in High School libraries! I mean, really! The part where Huck and Jim have oral sex on the raft is crazy! Also, I didn't know the full title was 'The Adventures of Hucklefairy Finn'.

January 17th, 2009

I played Mindshadow, Part One this week. It was pretty easy compared to the Level 9 travesty 'Emerald Isle'. I'll complete Part Two later this week. Or even tonight even if I'm not playing Drunken Halo!

January 16th, 2009

Everybody likes burritos, right? Even weird people like burritos! I had a burrito tonight and while I was getting my salsa, this weird guy comes up to me and says, "Hey! I've got a Irish friend who keeps his hair like that."

"Oh, how so?" I say. He says nothing. He just fills up his little black salsa cup. When he's done, he puts a cap on it and raises it up to my eye level.

"You ever gorge yourself on this?" Then he mumbles and walks off.

Man, if I ever meet that guy again, I'm avoiding eye contact!

January 11th, 2009

I was at that park again hanging out with the fish when that kid came up to me again.

"Hey! Did they ever make silver nickels?" he asked me.

"Hmm. Why?" I wondered as I watched him fish around in his pocket.

"I think I found one!" he yipped as he pulled it free.

"What year is it?" I interrogated him.



January 9th, 2009

I played another game this week! It was really bad! With crazy art from a bygone era! It was called Emerald Isle and it was created by some Royalist company called Level 9. I'm going to find some more crap by them and play that too!

January 8th, 2009

At the park today, I was protecting the fish from stray cats and some kid came up to me and said, "Man, your face is really red!"

"It's my Roseacea," I blathered.

"What's that?"

"It's a disease," I explained and he backed up and said, "Whoa, I'm sorry!" So I spit on him.

January 5th, 2009

I played a game. The game was called Fyleet. I also ate pizza. It had walnuts and apples on it. I also thought some thoughts. You would be able to read about those if I tweetered.

January 2nd, 2009

I wrote a book today! You can find it free right here! It's called, 'The Most Successful Debate Arguments Used in American Debates'

1. What's your point?
2. I gotsa man!
3. You don't know me!
4. (Yell anything really, really loud. The same thing! Over and over! As if it were the wittiest and argument endingest comment ever!
5. Eat a bag of dicks!
6. Your mom!

That's the best of all of them! Use any of these in your next fight with your wife and she'll be speechless!

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Copyright 2006 NA!P






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