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 CHAPTER FIFTY SIX
Joseph Interprets Dreams, Genesis 40:1 -- 40:23.

THE FACTS!

The Chief Butler and the Chief Baker offend Pharaoh.

Pharaoh gets angry at the Butler and the Baker.

Pharaoh throws them into prison with Joseph.

The Warden puts Joseph in charge of the Butler and the Baker which means Joseph serves them.

Joseph spends a year in prison with the Butler and the Baker.

The Butler and the Baker both dream a dream in the same night.

Joseph finds the Butler and the Baker the next day. They both look sad and confused.

Joseph, while in the prison with the Butler and the Baker, asks them both why they're so sad.

The Butler and the Baker who are in prison, the same prison that Joseph is in, tell Joseph that they have dreamed a dream and that there is no interpretation for it.

Joseph tells them, "Leave the interpretation to God. Tell me your dreams so that I can interpret them."

The Butler tells Joseph his dream. "There was a vine before me. The vine had three branches which budded and blossomed before me, bringing forth ripe grapes. I held Pharaoh's cup and pressed the grapes into the cup and took the cup to Pharaoh."

There was a pause and then the Butler said, "Um, that's all."

Joseph interprets the dream. "The three branches are obviously three days. Duh! And since we're in prison, that would mean that the three days represent the amount of time left that you will serve. After which, you will return to your former duties of Butlering."

Joseph adds, "Remember to mention me to Pharaoh when all of this comes to pass and you are back in the pyramid."

Joseph postscripts, "For I was kidnapped from my homeland and thrown in prison for a rape which I never attempted."

The Baker gets very excited when he hears the good dream interpretation. "Do mine next!" he yells and jump about the cell clapping his hands.

The Baker tells Joseph his dream. "I had three white baskets on my head. In the top basket, I kept my meat! But then some stupid birds flew down and ate all of the meat I was going to prepare for Pharaoh."

Joseph interprets the dream. "A-ha! Easy peezy! The three baskets are also three days! That's what is left of your sentence also!"

"Awesome!" yells the Baker.

"Not so fast!" replies Joseph! "In three days, Pharaoh will take you from prison and hang you in a tree where birds will eat of the flesh thereof. Or thereoff, probably!"

Joseph does not tell the Baker to remember him.

In three days, it was Pharaoh's birthday! And he had a grand party with cupcakes and little hats and dancing crocodiles. He also brought the Butler and the Baker from out of prison.

Pharaoh restores Butler to his original position.

Pharaoh has Baker hanged. So maybe he didn't have cupcakes.

The Butler forgets Joseph.

STUDY QUESTIONS!
Question God and Religion!

How did the Butler and the Baker offend Pharaoh? Does it really matter? Probably everything offends Pharaoh! Why would anybody want to work for Pharaoh? It's probably the worst work place ever! And you have to constantly worry about your boss dying because you're going to be mummified right along with him so that, in the afterlife, Pharaoh can enjoy fresh bread in the morning and a nice Cognac at night! So even when you die, you don't get to retire!

What happens when Pharaoh throws the Baker in prison? Does the Baker's Apprentice take over making doughnuts and funnel cakes? Or does everyone go without nice tasty bread products and pies until the Baker is released from prison. What happens if the Baker is hung from a tree?!

What season do you think they spent in the ward? I bet in the original language, The Bible tells you which specific season it was! But the lazy King James Translators probably couldn't be bothered to figure it out.

Why would Joseph ask two men in prison why they are so sad? Isn't it obvious? Or had Joseph turned the Egyptian Prison into some kind of Ancient Chuck E. Cheeses?

Was dream interpretation a regular morning activity in Egypt? The Butler and the Baker don't actually have very involved or interesting dreams the night before and yet they're really sad about not having someone to interpret the dream for them. The Butler made some wine and the Baker had his meat stolen! I bet Freud would have a really sexy interpretation for those dreams!

Did this Chapter remind you of the movie clue? Do you think Tim Curry was the Butler? Or did this remind you of Murder By Death? I bet that's why the Butler and the Baker were in prison! They just tried to murder 12 of the most famous detectives of all time!

How arrogant has Joseph become? We saw earlier that he's a know-it-all little jerk by the way he taunts his brothers with his own dream interpretations. And now Joseph tells the Butler and the Baker to leave dream interpretations to God. Yet in the same breath, he tells them to tell him their dreams so he can interpret them! Is Joseph implying he's God?

If God is with you, does that mean you can make him dance whenever you want? Does Joseph just expect God to interpret the dreams through him right there on the spot? What if God were busy with somebody else? Like Reuben? Or Asher?

Do you even remember Asher? Is he worth remembering? Is he going to do anything exciting like how Judah did that prostitute and Reuben had sex with his stepmom?

I had to go back and make sure there actually was a child named Asher! Did you remember that one of Isaac's kids was named Gad? Ha ha! What a dumb name!

Did 'it was as though it budded, and her blossoms shot forth' sound dirty to you too? I bet Freud would make it sound practically pornographic!

Wasn't Joseph's interpretation of Butler's dream a little mundane? Do you even know what mundane means? It means boring! Here is my interpretation of Butler's Dream: Butler is in prison and he is missing a woman's 'buds' and 'blossoms.' I put quotes on those because what I mean by bud is her thingy and what I mean by blossoms is her bosoms! That's practically the same word! But Butler never gets to have sex with any women even though he misses them because he has to give them all to Pharaoh and Butler probably had his knick knacks cut off anyway so he could do a proper Butlering job without being distracted.

Can you believe the Baker's dream was even more boring than Butler's dream? Except the part about Baker having three baskets on his head! How did he manage that? Oh yeah, it was a dream!

Have you ever had your doughnuts stolen by birds. I hate birds!

Do you think Joseph should have softened the blow a little bit instead of telling Baker exactly how he was going to become a piñata for the birds? Especially after having given Butler such good news!

Did Joseph know Pharaoh's birthday was in three days? Since Joseph is such a big shot running the prison, maybe he heard about Pharaoh's birthday plans and knew that Butler was needed for the celebration so he made up the interpretation to impress Butler and maybe have Pharaoh hear how good he was at it so he could be released! But if Pharaoh's birthday was in three days, why would Pharaoh kill his Baker? Doesn't Pharaoh like cake?

Was Butler a big jerk for not remembering Joseph? Or did it hardly matter? Why should Butler care that some mama's boy in prison told him the interpretation of one dream one time? Especially when it was just a few days before he was set free. I'd probably have forgotten also, what with all the freedom and junk.

Why was Baker hanged? What do you think Baker did to deserve jail for a season just to end up hanging from a tree? Did he forget to put M&Ms in the cookies?

Pickle Boy's Obscure or Historical Facts #6: Cucumbers are fruit.

The Butcher, the Baker, and the Candlestick Maker all jumped out of a rotten potato. This might be a historical fact but it sure does raise an awful lot of questions! How did they all fit in that rotten potato? Why were they in it? What made them jump out of it? What does it even mean? Why were they hanging out together?

Sigmund Freud believed that all dreams were sexual and that all children wanted to murder the same sex parent while doing it to the opposite sex parent. He also believed that women wanted a penis! What was crazier than this was that people believed what he said for many, many, many years! And some still do!

The Baker was sentenced to death for having sex with Pharaoh's pies.

I don't believe Pickle Boy's Obscure Fact #6.

A. Go to sleep and have a really nice dream. Now interpret that dream! I hope it was sexy!
B. Find out what the Rub-a-dub-dub Nursery Rhyme means! You can use any version since I can't figure out what any of the versions mean, whether they were maids or men or knaves or going to the fair or jumping out of potatoes or whatever!
C. Write a story detailing what you think the Baker did to get thrown in jail. Since this is an essay question and not story time, you should research Egyptian Law and Egyptian Society so that your story is realistic and explains what a Baker actually did in Ancient Egypt. Was he just a Chef?

DRAWING TIME!

Draw a picture of your favorite dream. If you don't have a favorite dream, you can draw a picture of a kitten.

WHAT DID CHRISTIAN LITERALISTS LEARN?

Never trust the Butler.

KNOW THY ENEMY

I bet the Baker blamed Joseph for his death because Joseph created the future by interpreting the dream. And that could be true since God works in mysterious ways and is unknowable and other mystical stuff like that. I was going to say the messenger isn't the enemy but after writing that last sentence, I think it depends on who the messenger is! If it is a Follower of God who is giving God's dream interpretation (since Joseph states only God interprets dreams), then maybe the messenger is the guy who is making the future happen! God knows everything and God does everything and God is the reason for everything. So God kills the Baker. And Joseph is the messenger. So I guess the Baker's enemy isn't the messenger after all and I'm going to return to my original thought. God is the Baker's enemy! And if you learn anything from The Bible, God is all powerful and knows everything so if anything bad happens to you, blame God. Any time I put anybody else in this section as the enemy, that person is just a tool of God. But you can't totally blame God since God is unknowable like I said before and maybe you should be thanking God when he does something horrible to you because God knows best and it's probably for your own good and, anyway, it builds character.