The whole earth was one language.
All the people traveled east and one of them said to his neighbor, "Hey, let's make some bricks!" And the neighbor said, "Heavy!"
They had bricks for stones and slime for mortar. That doesn't sound very effective.
And then they said, "Let's make a tower that may reach heaven."
Then they said, "Jinxth! You oweth me a jewth boxth!" since they didn't have Cokes back then.
And they said, "Let's think up a name for us so we can never be scattered!" which was foreshadowing.
God came down to watch the construction.
God sees that Man can do anything they can imagine since they all speak the same language.
God confounds their speech.
God scatters the people across the land.
The tower is called Babel because that meant confusion in olden times speak.
Why do all the men travel together? When does this story take place? Is it after Noah's kids have kids? Or after Noah's kids' kids have kids? Or even later?
What language do you think was spoken before God made up a whole bunch of different languages on the spot? Do you think it was Swahili? Or Esperanto?
Who is the guy who had the brick idea? Why doesn't he have a name? Do you think he was an ancestor of Frank Wilbur Wright? Whoever he was, he was a troublemaker!
How many buildings have you built using slime as mortar?
Do you think the tower would have been built before God could screw everything up if they'd used a different contractor? Do you think it was a Gypsy Scam? Is that racist? If so, then replace Gypsy with a race that you care less about.
Would the people have been scattered if they'd thought up a name for themselves? What name would you choose? You should choose a fierce, scary or tough animal that starts with the same letter as the town in which you live. Maybe the Babel Baboons? Or perhaps Mandrills?
Did God really need to fear Man's ability to work together just because they speak the same language? Did he really need to suddenly invent a bunch of new languages? He could have just as easily limited them to 140 characters.
Why would God be upset that Man was working together? Isn't that the whole point of Religion? So that people will believe the same thing and get along? Wasn't that what was going on perfectly while Mankind was living on the plains of Shinar trying to build their city and tower? What kind of God messes that up? Is he self-destructive? Is God bi-polar?
Do you think God is upset that Man thought up a way to get together that didn't really involve him? What a pouter!
God probably knew Man would never build a tower to reach Heaven with home-made bricks and slime mortar. Yet again, he feels Man should be punished for doing something he never told them not to. Is this going to remain a theme?
Are these stories in Genesis supposed to be taken literally? Or are they really just morality tales? It's showing how someone takes an action and receives negative consequences for the action so that the people reading The Bible know not to also take that action. The story isn't an example of real people who failed to heed a warning since there was no warning in the first place. The warning is the story. Am I writing too much?
How do you think God scattered all the people of the earth? Did he turn the hose on them? Oh wait. He already did that once! Maybe he just pushed the pieces around the board like you might do with Risk.
FAITH vs SCIENCE
The architects of the Tower of Babel were working on the 13th floor when God cursed them with different tongues. This is why modern buildings always skip the 13th floor.
Skipping the 13th floor is stupid because then the 14th floor is really the 13th floor so you haven't actually avoided having a 13th floor. You've just avoided counting correctly.
If people who were superstitious were also smart, they'd avoid staying on the 14th floor. And then places would have to get rid of the 14th floor too!
The International Space Station is only called international because every time two people who speak the same language board it, they're immediately cursed with different languages by God who hates to see man hanging out on his front lawn.
For some reason, I kept wanting to reference The A-Team while writing
about the Tower of Babel. Why?
Design your own way into space that isn't an ancient tower or a super space elevator of which God might approve.
WHAT DID CHRISTIAN LITERALISTS LEARN?
People speak different
languages because God was unhappy with their architectural project.
KNOW THY ENEMY
is one of those Chapters in The Bible that your enemies are going to really
break your Literal Chops about. But don't worry! I'll show you how to defend
it! Let's break it down: