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God created everything in existence in six days. Except maybe the Light which he just gave permission to exist and it existed, and possibly the herbs and grasses which he thought up and then the earth did all the work sprouting them. I'd hate to jump to conclusions already!
God saw everything was good.
God made two lights to light up the sky, one to light up the day and a lesser one to light up the night. He also made the stars! Which all seems rather redundant since he'd already figured out light and apparently didn't need any source for it.
God created man and woman in his own image.
God told all creatures to be fruitful and multiply. Even ugly ones like Ostriches.
God also told man to subdue the Earth and have dominion over all other creatures.
God tells men and beasts to eat their vegetables.
God saw everything was VERY good.
God rested on the seventh day and decided everyone else should too, so he made it Holy.
How confusing is the phrase 'In the beginning' when we're supposedly dealing with an Infinite Being?
The Bible is pretty mysterious about God's Origins. Who is he? Where did he come from? What's his motivation for creating everything?
If God is infinite (and The Bible hasn't been too clear on this yet), then it took him infinity before he got around to creating everything. What was the hold up?
Why did it take God six days to create everything? Does it have something to do with E=mc2? Couldn't he have been more efficient?
Man creates because God created Man in his own image. Man is also created. So do you think God was also created? If so, by what? Was he a result of the Big Bang? Hee hee.
Does 'the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters' sound dirty to you too?
What did the Light and the Darkness look like before God separated them one from the other? Was it like an MC Escher print?
So God called the dark 'night' and the light 'day'. What good does that do him when he has no cosmic model of the galaxy to determine actual day and night? Does he just stand in the area he separated the light while he creates stuff and then walks over to where he stuck the darkness for his night's sleep and then, after hitting the snooze button a few times, heads back into the light area to begin the new day?
What happened to the water above Heaven? The water below the firmament became Earth. Where did the water above the firmament go? Did it become the other planets and galaxies? Did it become a bunch of other Earths? Perhaps God has some Chosen Aliens? Is this proof of alien beings (Proof meaning facts from The Bible in this context and not the correct way Proof would normally be used)? Or maybe it just became rain?
How does God measure one day before he creates the sun? God doesn't create the sun until the third day and yet after creating the heaven and the earth, morning and evening are mentioned.
What happened to the lesser light God created to light up the night? The Bible couldn't mean the moon since that's not a light; it's just a big rock!
Why does God only mention Whales specifically of all animals? Are they his favorites? I'd say he mentioned Cattle too but I'm pretty sure he meant sheep and cows and goats and chickens. Maybe not chickens. Although chickens don't live in the firmament, so probably chickens too.
Are people who eat meat going against God as he seems to directly point out the grasses and herbs and fruits as the food for men and beasts? This would seem pretty important since the whole of creation only takes one and a quarter pages and about twelve and a half cents of that is the vegetable diet part! Maybe it's explained more after Adam and Eve really screw the pooch (not literally! I don't think).
Why is the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie called 'The Sixth Day'?
How could God create Man and Woman both in his own image? I've seen men and women naked and one of them makes my stomach feel funny and the other makes my stomach feel queasy.
FAITH vs SCIENCE
Christians regard Sunday as the Sabbath and Jewish people regard Saturday as the Sabbath. The Bible specifically states God rested one day and not the whole weekend. This means that one group is breaking the Sabbath and has been forever. Hell sure is going to be crowded!
People who smoke 'grass' and 'herbs' think everything is good or very good or groovy.
Whalers should probably rethink their slaughter of the poor whales since God created whales first of everything and even named them specifically. I can draw only one conclusion from this: God loves Whales! Oh, wait! Two conclusions: God hates Whalers!
The moon doesn't make its own light! It reflects the light from somewhere else, possibly Las Vegas. If it's the 'lesser light' God created, then somebody made a big mistake!
The Bible is going to get a lot of science wrong because Fact Checkers in the time The Bible was written didn't have the internet. Of course, if The Bible were written today, a lot of the science would still be wrong since the internet has Wikipedia.
A. Write your own
Bible Book that takes place before Genesis. You should call it Flaming
Based only on Genesis 1:1 - 2:3, draw God.
WHAT DID CHRISTIAN LITERALISTS LEARN?
God made everything in existence from nothing within six days.
This section will help you understand the crazy arguments the disbelievers and unbelievers will try to use against you. The unbelievers are Atheists, Heathens, and people of other faiths (which I already covered in the 'Heathens' part but you might not have noticed!). The disbelievers are a more insidious lot! They are the Bible Metaphorists and the Cultural Apologists! They'll tell you they are followers of Christ in one breath and then tell you the Bible is analogy and you can't believe every word! Blasphemy! The Cultural Apologists are even worse! They're people like Unitarians where they believe that being nice and getting along is more important than following the Letter of God's Law! You probably won't have to worry about them too much though. Because if you ever get in a discussion with them, they'll probably change the subject when they realize that your passion for Christ and the truth will cause a not-so-nice and probably heated argument. They might even call you racist, homophobic, or insensitive to try to win their argument! But even if you are those things, it's only because God told you to be them and you'll be happy and in Heaven while they're burning in Hell just so they could be nice to everyone on Earth!
Atheists and Heathens are not the only people who will try to argue the points of the Bible with you! You must truly beware of the Bible Metaphorists who declare that the passages in the Bible are merely metaphor or stories as opposed to Divine Truth and history! These are the people you must be prepared to do witty battle with! It is easy to argue with Atheists and Heathens! After circling a point with them for an hour or so, just shrug your shoulders and go, "Well, it all comes down to Faith anyway and you don't have any so you'll never understand." That puts them in their place because it shows they are lacking in Faith and they are also lacking in Intelligence because you get the "you'll never understand" barb in there!
The Bible Metaphorists are another matter entirely! They believe in things like Evolution and Science when they should be believing in the Word of God! So they'll take the story of Creation (which you've just read!) and say things like, "Perhaps the six days is really just a metaphor for a longer expanse of time! Perhaps the way in which God made all animals, plants, planets, and everything was through evolution!" Well, why not just say God is a metaphor for the Big Bang?! These people will try to undermine your Faith as subtly as the Serpent undermined Eve's obedience! Do not let them! Do not get into discussions where they try to point out that the strange and varying amounts of creatures and the ways they act and look make more sense from an evolutionary standpoint than from the standpoint of somebody sitting down and thinking them all up! They may even compare God to a schizophrenic because who would have thought up the Platypus right there from the start?! They might try to point out how God would have had to revise and revise his plans over and over! If he made man in his image, why would God give man an immune system? Is it because God suffers from Omnipotent Viruses? Does God produce water and bowel movements? Why would he develop blind fish but still give them eyes? Why make birds and then decide he needed a few flying mammals also? All of these types of arguments really boil down to the fact that they just lack Faith in God's great imagination!