The Call of Abram, Genesis 12:1 - 12:9.
God tells Abram to get out of the country and away from his family and out of his father's house (that part seems redundant).
God tells Abram he will bless him and make him a Great Nation and that he'll be blessed (that part seems redundant).
God says he'll bless all those that bless Abram and curse all those that curse Abram (that part's probably redundant).
At 75, Abram departs Haran and Lot goes as his sidekick.
Abram also takes Sarai and his brother's son (which is Lot!).
Abram also takes all of his stuff and all the souls he'd gotten in Haran.
They all come into the land of Canaan. Hosanna! Unless that's later.
The Canaanites lived there so God said he's giving the land to Abram's seed.
Abram shrugs and leaves, heading East into Beth-el where he builds an altar to the Lord.
Abram calls upon the name of the Lord.
Abram continues wandering to the south.
Question God and Religion!
Why does God choose to bless Abram? Is it only because he has to choose someone? Is it part of Noah's blessing on Shem? But still, why Abram? Why not Haran? Or Nahor?
Will we ever find out what happened to Nahor? Was he left behind for an unholy reason?
Will we ever find out what happened to Claire? Why did she leave her baby to go off with her dead father?
Why does God tell Abram to get lost? What kind of calling is that?
Why did Abrams create Lost? I think the survivors were in Purgatory but too many people on the internet guessed it so the writers took it in another direction.
How come God offers up Canaan to a bunch of his favorite dudes but then never lets any of them live there? Are they failures? Or was God just setting them up to fail? Or is it a lesson about nationality and descendants and God being more important than a single man? Isn't that hogwash?
God blesses all families of the earth in Abram. Does that mean the cursed families who cursed Abram also? Probably not! Those guys are jerks.
What does The Bible mean when it says Abram takes all the souls he had gotten in Haran? Is he a Pokemon trainer? Is he a missionary? Have I been missing that point all the time? Are those who are with the Lord actually spreading the word of the Lord and not just randomly special?
The Bible keeps semi-coherent genealogical records of Noah's family thus that thousands of years later, we can see who was sort of related to whom. So did Abram know any of his cousins when he entered Canaan? And did he know if they were fourth or fifth cousins or cousins thrice removed? Does anybody know the difference between those?
When Abram saw people were already in the land God sent him to see, was he disappointed that he didn't know the term 'Manifest Destiny'? His seed were going to learn the meaning though! Right after Moses dies or something.
I bet Jack and John were glad to see people in the land they found themselves, don't you? Up until Ethan tried to kill Charlie, of course. Then they were scared. Or mad. I forget!
Did you giggle at the phrase 'pitched his tent'?
Why does Abrams want Lost to end? Doesn't he like money?
Why does Abram build the altar east of Beth-el before leaving it and heading south? Was it just time to glory in the Lord again since he hadn't done it for awhile? Or was he marking territory for Jehovah?
Did 'into the land of Canaan they came' sound dirty to you too?
When the Lord appears before Abram east of Beth-el, does he tell him to head south? Is that why Abram builds the altar? Because he's followed God's advice and seen the land God wanted him to see and he was just trying to find out what to do next? Is building an altar like casting the I Ching?
FAITH vs SCIENCE
Science always gives reasons for anything being blessed. And when science says blessed, it means it in the secular sense of 'a good thing happening entirely by random happenstance.' So someone can be blessed with good DNA or blessed with fitness for survival.
Blessings are handed out in The Bible by God or anybody who can say 'bless you'. God's blessings usually have definite good outcomes while people giving blessings are really just risking the wrath of God since they might bless the wrong person and then God is going to get to cursing. Blessings in religion mean they're divinely inspired good favors handed out entirely at random.
However you get to be blessed, it's never because of something you did, no matter what you decide to attribute it to! Many people who are blessed with a good metabolism might think they're skinny due to their own efforts, even if their efforts consist entirely of playing video games and eating burgers. Religious folks who make a lot of money tend to think God has blessed them in some way because they're some special and unique individual and have lived their life correctly unlike all those other chumps who aren't successful and therefore must be pretending to be good Christians while secretly masturbating on dead kittens.
The thing that makes America America is that Americans think that anything one does has to benefit at least that person or it isn't worth doing. So building some legacy for your descendants is out if you're not going to enjoy being a rich old jerk yourself. And suicide bombing is just plain stupid! Dying for your cause? Ridiculous! Find some 18 year old poor ethnic person to die for your cause while you reap outrageous amounts of money and power because of it! Um, the point is, Americans would never go, 'Oh yeah God? You're saying that land down there is mine? But only my great grandkids are going to enjoy it? You got another think coming, God!' And then he'd ride down on his horse, guns blazing and shifty treaties flaming!
To successfully capture a lot of souls like Abram did in Haran, you have to use the souls you've already collected to beat them up until they're very weak. Then you throw your Pokeball at the creature's head and hope it captures it.
It's a historical fact that I'll reference Pokemon a lot more in these commentaries. Maybe I'll move on to referencing Yu-Gi-Oh too! Trust the cards, Moses!
People who have written critical commentaries on The Bible, The Vedas, Dianetics, and The Book of Mormon are more abundant than those who have written critical commentaries on The Koran. And by abundant, I mean alive.
J. J. Abrams and his writers will probably never explain why The Others had a list of plane survivors that they were supposed to kidnap. That's because the List was probably a list of Good people that the Others needed so they could somehow 'extract' the Goodness from them and give it to themselves so that they could leave Purgatory in the correct direction (which is up!). And since the writers decided to pretend that the Island wasn't Purgatory, the List doesn't make sense any more!
My favorite characters on Lost are the Ogre Hugo and the Hobbit Charlie!
A. Why does God tease
Abram with the quick glimpse of Canaan?
B. Examine the link between the names of the Lost Characters and their relationship with the island? How did they come to the island? Who are they named after? How big are their boobies?
C. What is the problem with Ur and Haran? Why does God tell Abram to leave those places? What is wrong with the people who live there? Why do some of them end up leaving with Abram to wander toward Egypt?
Draw the logo for the Dharma Station you would like to live in!
WHAT DID CHRISTIAN LITERALISTS LEARN?
Land can be given to people
directly by God, thereby trumping the so-called ownership of people already
living on that land.
KNOW THY ENEMY
One way networks ruin a good show is by demanding a fast paced storyline instead of a meandering, slow, well-told story. That's because raising questions is much easier than answering them. When you speed up the plot of a show to answer questions and tie up the story, you can't leave too many loose threads or the audience will be upset with you. But you can't answer too many questions or they'll begin to contradict each other and ruin the inherent believability of the whole storyline.
Another show-ruining corollary is any show that has a male and female lead with sexual tension always feels the demand of the audience to get those two into bed with each other.
Also, any show that has utilized the cuteness of a young child will always need to get another young child when the first young child becomes old and not at all cute.